Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
