I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
