I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
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