Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
