She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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