hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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