unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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