She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
