Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
