he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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