I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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