new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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