At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
