i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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