I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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