They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
