his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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