your parents love me but you hate me
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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