you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
