I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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