How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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