I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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