He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Can you repeat that, but with context?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
