we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize