Michael Bay diarrhea
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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