Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
