After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I still have a little drunk in my system
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
