Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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