I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
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When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
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Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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