It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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