New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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