We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
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