yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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