you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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