A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
she peed on how many people?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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