Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
