using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
