Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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