Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
