Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize