I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize