You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
