so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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