he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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