ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
