remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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