That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
