i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
