Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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