Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
