chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
