Texts From Last Night

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  (812): View more from Indiana

  If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.

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  (812): If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message. http://tfl.nu/nzcw
  Replies (31) Good night (5656) Bad night (1046)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner

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  (607): Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner http://tfl.nu/msbx
  Replies (38) Good night (3739) Bad night (864)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...

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  (417): i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was... http://tfl.nu/mlza
  Replies (82) Good night (9146) Bad night (2563)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.

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  (978): we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now. http://tfl.nu/2hw3
  Replies (36) Good night (4510) Bad night (857)
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  (714): View more from California

  that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.

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  (714): that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place. http://tfl.nu/ev8p
  Replies (17) Good night (1708) Bad night (4679)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.

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  (770): All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard. http://tfl.nu/f3jg
  Replies (3) Good night (2836) Bad night (867)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.

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  (704): Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks. http://tfl.nu/2r5q
  Replies (6) Good night (1908) Bad night (807)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.

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  (210): the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body. http://tfl.nu/1j67
  Replies (6) Good night (1903) Bad night (594)
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  (631): View more from New York

  im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night

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  (631): im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night http://tfl.nu/im54
  Replies (5) Good night (2901) Bad night (574)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.

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  (419): He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer. http://tfl.nu/ld4h
  Replies (8) Good night (2000) Bad night (478)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?

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  (734): Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook? http://tfl.nu/02qq
  Replies (5) Good night (401) Bad night (570)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.

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  (201): I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me. http://tfl.nu/s5ef
  Replies (0) Good night (1047) Bad night (381)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  that happened

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  (508): Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing? (603): that happened http://tfl.nu/dxuy
  Replies (1) Good night (365) Bad night (512)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.

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  (703): Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me. http://tfl.nu/2cms
  Replies (3) Good night (674) Bad night (324)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"

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  (713): If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in" http://tfl.nu/euzu
  Replies (8) Good night (616) Bad night (334)

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