Texts From Last Night

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  (510): View more from California

  I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.

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  (510): I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress. http://tfl.nu/szsa
  Replies (75) Good night (2323) Bad night (910)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?

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  (253): DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge? http://tfl.nu/bwm6
  Replies (41) Good night (6835) Bad night (971)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.

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  (908): Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic. http://tfl.nu/hh2b
  Replies (33) Good night (4214) Bad night (5295)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.

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  (281): I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged. http://tfl.nu/p1l3
  Replies (31) Good night (7728) Bad night (1192)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away

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  (303): I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away http://tfl.nu/qpjo
  Replies (8) Good night (6758) Bad night (1014)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..

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  (541): just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony.. http://tfl.nu/riwy
  Replies (5) Good night (4972) Bad night (1329)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.

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  (978): He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment. http://tfl.nu/fwul
  Replies (12) Good night (2793) Bad night (1326)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.

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  (604): I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away. http://tfl.nu/d7d8
  Replies (5) Good night (701) Bad night (866)
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  (949): View more from California

  It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.

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  (949): It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants. http://tfl.nu/9y1w
  Replies (5) Good night (455) Bad night (829)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...

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  (647): Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but... http://tfl.nu/6fcg
  Replies (0) Good night (498) Bad night (322)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow

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  (201): i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow http://tfl.nu/q6h5
  Replies (2) Good night (618) Bad night (309)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant

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  (217): yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant http://tfl.nu/oubr
  Replies (4) Good night (752) Bad night (443)
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  (347): View more from New York

  Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed

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  (347): Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed http://tfl.nu/rghw
  Replies (2) Good night (739) Bad night (356)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed

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  (727): Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed http://tfl.nu/f4j9
  Replies (3) Good night (749) Bad night (314)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?

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  (717): How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!? http://tfl.nu/zxwn
  Replies (14) Good night (450) Bad night (573)

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