I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Randomize
