Having a random hookup so left but love u
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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