I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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