am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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