Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
